Bring Back Alcopops!

Ahhh. Whatever happened to good old fashioned alcopop drinks? Hooch, Metz, Red Square, etc. Massive in the 90's, gone now, much like Heather Small's hair. Written out of history. I bloody loved them. The weirder, the better. I only mention it as I stumbled across this ad in an old magazine for one of my faves, Wild Brew, as seen in the advert above, and to your right. This contained guarana, so it was basically a vodka and Red Bull variation, just much better. By the way, what ever happened to those Cadbury's Boost bars, with the green wrapper that contained guarana? They were great. But I digress, and so soon as well. It apparently got banned because of a "marijuana type-leaf" on the bottle. Lame.

Of course, the one everybody remembers is Martini Metz, the schnapps drink. Bloody great that was. Just that sodding "Beware the Judderman, when the moon is fat" advert that freaked most people out. What were the marketing bods thinking here? And of course the later advert with a pre-Boosh Julian Barratt as a barman wearing an eyepatch banging on about the medical condition known "as a judder". I never felt the judder, but then again I was probably too pissed on disco vomit pop.

Nearly all of them went eventually, leaving the pathetic selection we've got today. Smirnoff Ice is possibly the classiest we get. All the others seemed to be aimed at people who live on council estates. WKD... I ask you.  Bloody hell. Of course the reason they were pulled was because it encouraged under aged drinkers, and the removal of such temptation from the shelves would help curb that worrying trend. Yeah, that worked didn't it?

Beware the Judderman...